one bad egg

Last night, we had a store meeting...our first since I have been back from maternity/bereavement leave. My sweet, thoughtful girls wrote me the sweetest card and got me a lovely cake from Emileigh's.



I was reminded of how many lovely people surround me on a daily basis. I went home to my "can't believe how amazing you are" husband and snuggled on the couch while I read babylost blogs and cried. He has been my perfect match through this loss. When I am sad, he is strong and compassionate. When he is sad, I try to be strong but end up crying right along with him. He gives me my space at just the right times and occupies my thoughts when I need to be distracted from my memories.

Then this morning, I get my routine phone call from the sweetest sister even created, telling me a cute story about my sassy niece. She apparently is going to grow up to be one tough beeyotch...she makes fun of An American Tail. That movie makes grown men cry and sweet little Lu makes fun of Fievel. I love her. Before I leave for work, Corinne texts me and says she hopes nice things happen for me today. Who thinks to say thoughtful stuff like that? On my way in to work, I stop by ChickfilA to get a sweet tea and yummy chicknminis. Shelby, the drivethru man, who I see way too often, tells me that he appreciates that I always have a smile on my face. If he only knew. Shelby's wife had a homebirth with their first child and so we have kind of a connection. He hasn't asked me about the baby yet and I am glad...that's a conversation that would A)ruin his day and B)be inappropriate fast food drive thru conversation. But, all the same, I appreciated the thoughtful comment. After being at work for about 15 minutes, Corinne comes in with a Bowl of Soul. For those of you not in the know, a bowl of soul is quite possibly the world's most delicious coffee drink. Go by Bottletree Bakery one morning and get one...you'll thank me later. Nice thing #4 for the day and its not even 11:00 yet. About 30 minutes later, a friend comes in the store just to give me a hug, bring me some homemade soup and ask how I've been doing. This is a woman who I only met after Drew died. She barely knows me and is completely heartbroken for me and my little family. I truly think she would do anything to make this hurt less. She has no idea how much it means just to know that she thinks of me and hurts right along with me.

I went home for lunch since Austin was off today. I walked in and smelled freshly grilled chicken. Austin had grilled chicken, roasted potatoes and cooked butterbeans. The man even had my sweet tea poured and LOST cued up so we could watch it on my lunch break. Great lunch break...the best in a while.

Here's where we take a turn. For some reason, on the way back to work, I started crying and couldn't stop. I haven't cried for real at work since I have been back. I'd made it almost an entire month without this interfering with work. I tried to stop crying as I pulled into the parking lot and pretty much had it together. I walked into work and ran into one of my favorite customers that I hadn't seen since I came back. This woman is the ultimate mother. She has 6 kids, one of whom is special needs. She is warm and friendly and I love her. She had heard about Drew from her daughter and immediately asked how I was doing. Bless her heart...I unloaded on her and cried smack dab in the middle of maurices. Not ideal. She listened and empathized as she had gone through a similar situation earlier in her life. Then, while I was crying and talking to Gena, someone came in and dumped all over my day. Her behavior was so offensive and rude, it almost ruined every good thing that had happened up to that point. I won't go into it since I am uber paranoid that somehow she will read this. I dealt with her and then went and hid in the back for the rest of the afternoon.

I slowly came out of my funk thanks to Ashley, Stephanie, and Kat. I love that I work with girls who understand me somewhat and allow me to completely fall to pieces without explanation. Then sweet Martha Brown, a customer of mine, came in and helped me feel normal and helpful again. I came home and Ramsey was happy to see me as always and Austin was waiting with ingredients for chicken pesto paninis...my favorite. I took a lavender oil scented bath and just relaxed. All in all, nice things did happen to me all day today. One nasty woman doesn't matter. Her choices are hers and I choose to not let her ruin my world.

So thank you Austin, Corinne, Ramsey, Martha Brown, Gena, Margaret, Shelby the drive thru man, maurices girls and Sawyer on LOST...you made my day happier.


Oh, and who could be sad today. It's my dear friend Samantha Kimbrow's birthday. She is such a wonderful person who deserves all of the good things that she has in her life. I love her and I send hugs and love her way.