Monday, August 15, 2011

Thomas' Room

So Andrew's room is now officially Thomas' room. I took out all of Andrew's clothes, hospital papers, and bibs. I also packed up the cloth diaper, gown and quilt from the day he died. I cried a little when I packed those up. I kept the mold of his feet and put them where his urn and picture are on a chest in my room. I took down the prayer flag that Corinne, Charles, Elise, and Mimi made for Andrew. I kept that in the closet so I can pull it out sometimes. It's fresh and clean and happy in there. Its always been happy, but now it feels different somehow. Good different, not sad different.

I'm 29 weeks today. Thomas is growing and healthy and apparently very big. He already weighs 3 lbs 4 oz and measured 30 weeks at my 28 week appointment. He's taking after his brother and daddy, a fact that pleases me more than you can imagine. He's very active and moves quite frequently and vigorously...I think it might be to reassure me that he's okay and happy in there. I've been having pretty regular Braxton Hicks contractions and I'm anxiously awaiting the for real ones. I'm not really nervous about labor...I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune once the pain hits, but I'm pretty sure I can handle it. If I can handle all that I have over the past 20 months, labor should be a breeze.

Life is trucking along pretty good right now. One thing is looming over our family's head right now that no one is looking forward to. Kent, my sister's husband, is leaving in 6 weeks to go overseas for a 12 month deployment. Thomas' birth and Kent's departure are too close for comfort and I feel so conflicted to be wishing the weeks by so Thomas will be here, but praying that they go slowly so Kent won't leave. Our family will be so affected by his absence and I hope that we can all give Corinne, Charles, and Elise enough love and support to help them through. I learned through grieving Andrew that nothing takes a pain that great away...nothing lessens it. I know that the Kent/Daddy corner of their hearts will be sad until he is safely at home with them...I just pray that we can make the other corners of their hearts happier in the meanwhile. I'm going to try to keep my blog up especially while he's gone so he can watch his second nephew grow up.