Saturday, February 20, 2016

Our home

Our house is on the market for sale and we are about to begin building a new one. I'm looking forward to our new space, a new school district, and another chapter. But my house...this house has seen some things. We moved in nearly 10 years ago, fresh faced, optimistic, YOUNG, and totally unaware of what grief and joy soon awaited. Leaving here feels a little bit like leaving another part of Andrew behind and I'm fighting that irrational feeling with the part of my brain that makes sense. I'm sitting in the living room writing this and looking at the walls that saw me grow three babies. Looking at the walls that held us up while we buckled under the immense grief of losing that first baby. This was the only place I felt even slightly okay. I became a momma here under the worst of circumstances. It's hard to leave a place that has held so much pain and just as much joy. We were able to bring the last two babies home, watch them grow, crawl, walk, laugh, run, learn. This is the house of their infancy and I'll always look back on this place with crazy love. I want the new family to know how much FAMILY is here, how much love, faithfulness, fight, determination, laughter, and growth that is built into these walls. This is such a good place and, as we prepare to leave, I look forward to what the next living room will see. Proms, boyfriends and girlfriends, best friends, certain tears as well as laughter, Netflix binges, and so many things I can't prepare myself for. Moving on is hard for me, but I'm so thankful that I'm moving on with the three people that live in this house with me as well as the fourth who lives on in our hearts.