I had another Andrew dream last night. This one wasn't so violent or horrible. Still not what one would call a "sweet" dream, but at least I got to hold him and kiss on him. My sister and I both have very vivid, albeit, very strange dreams. When I am dreaming them, all of these very strange things make perfect sense at the time. People who are dead are sort of alive again. They feel so real. I could smell Andrew and feel his skin just the way I did three months ago. I got to change his diaper and bathe him and snuggle him up. I watched him crawl and saw him play with Elise. I felt like a momma again in my dream.
I'm diggin in the dirt today. Feels good to get out in the sunshine and get dirty. I can't help but think that my sweetest boy should be sitting in his bouncy outside in the shade with me. We were great friends and I think he would like watching me garden. I guess he kind of is...I feel him so much more on sunny days. Maybe he has a clearer view from heaven.