Monday, June 28, 2010

My friend Sam came down from Idaho to visit for the first time since Andrew died. We visited over lunch and I was able to talk about parts of Andrew's birth and life and death that I hadn't talked about in such a long time. I remember when she moved last year, we were excited about her trip back this June. We talked about how little Drew would get to meet his Mimi Sam. Such a different life. When I was talking with her today, I almost felt like she got to meet him through my stories. She has been all to pieces since she wasn't able to be with me when we were in the hospital. She has no idea how much she helped today. Thanks sweet Sam for loving me and bitty boy so much. He would have loved you right back.

My life is one big ball of stress and change right now. I quit my job two weeks ago to open a store with my sister and her husband. I'm beyond excited about it, but its stressful nonetheless. I've never dealt with change very well so this is taxing to say the least. I'm also dealing with the empty babybelly situation. I want to be pregnant NOW and my body is of course not cooperating. I have a couple of things that I am trying hard to control to help myself out, but I don't feel super positive about it. But, I don't feel super positive about most things these days. I guess losing a child will do that to you.


  1. lindsey-I still keep up with your blog and felt like I should tell you that I still think of you a lot and pray for you often...just thought you should know that you and Andrew have not been forgotten and you're still in my prayers.

    sarah ward

  2. Lindsey - I hear you on the want/need to be pregnant NOW. And the struggle with thinking positive. For me, the dark and negative thoughts seem to win out most days. I will be trying harder to stay positive, and I'll send that good energy on to you.
    Yes - here's hoping we both have some good news soon.
    Hugs to you,